Well, the Horns are hitting the trail across the Red River, on up to Stillwater, where the boomers started it all by shoving the Native Americans aside. The place was God forsaken and unpopulated until they decided to clear some brush weed for a university and there you have it, good ‘ol OSU and T.Boone’s money. Now a Jordanian friend, a fellow “hasher” of the Hashemite Hash House Harriers (a “drinking club with a running problem”) told me yesterday at a poolside party at the Aussie Embassy majestically overlooking the sun baked brown olive-tree laden hills of south Amman that he went to OSU and he said Oklahoma girls were among the finest he’d seen, said he was bug eyed his whole freshman year. Well, we had just done a noonday run in near 100 degree heat before swilling copious amounts of chilled Cooper’s ale that the Oz were serving up but I knew he was telling the truth. Willis Allan Ramsey said northeast Texas women are Texas gold and I reckon the same applies just a few miles north of the border. Must be the still waters. OK, this said, the Horns just need to trample through town like the real longhorns did more than a hunnert years ago, and get the hell out, not even stop for a poke, unless its pokin’ the Cowpokes — we want to see plenty of that.
The Grove is famous for its partying, and Ole Miss had Archie and then he sired a couple lads who became even more famous than he did so I guess the Mannings are the first family in Oxford. But when I think of Oxford, Mississippi, I think of ‘ol Billy Faulkner, the guy who ate my lunch in my senior English project in high school in San Antonio. “The Sound and the Fury”, “Absalom, Absalom”, I read a few pages of each and soon was racing off to buy the Cliff Notes to take care of the analysis for the paper I had to write. My English teacher who loved Faulkner and his good buddy James Joyce more than anyone else called me out on the Notes, knew damn well I hadn’t cracked the books, grade “C”. I should have chosen Ernest H. but of course, she hated him as any female senior English teacher would and so I went political and paid for it! Now come to think of it, “September Morn” Helen teaches high school English, I believe, or at least she reads a helluva lot. Tell me, Helen, do you hate Hemingway and adore Faulkner? Well, I want the Horns to go up to Oxford, kick some of that Ole Miss blue ass, and then go pay their respects to ‘ol Bill’s grave site, have a straight shot of bourbon whiskey, then tell him and Oxford to bloody well ‘eff off and then head back to Austin with good feelings. I would be grateful.
W.E., clearly, there is an air of discontent in Longhorn Land. If the score of tonight’s game is not something like 72-3, we could be looking at either a pitchfork rally on Guadalupe Ave, or maybe Longhorn Nation just enters a phase of malaise, like Jimmy Carter once said, where basically we just …don’t…give…a…shite, anymore. Nah, il n’est pas possible. Escuchar amigos, Los Lobos are better as a Chicano rock band from East LA than they are as a football team. It should be OK, really, tonight on the football field.
Texas-Wyoming Pregame Willie Earl, the Grateful Dead did have it right, it has been a long strange trip, through the years. In 1970, we were repatriating to the USA from Clark Air Base in the Philippines, right after the Cambodia … Continue reading →